Whoopass Eggnog
As the name implies, eggnog contains eggs. Unless you feel like giving your guests the gift of salmonella, you need to pay attention, work clean, and cook the eggs yolks without making an omelet.
Ingredients:
•2 largish stainless steel bowls, a wire whisk, large spatula, container to hold a gallon of stuff.
• 12 eggs, separated (yolks in a stainless steel bowl, egg whites (no traces of yolk!) in another stainless steel bowl
• 2 C granulated sugar
• 3 C whole milk, cool, not cold
• 1 Tbl. Cinnamon
• ½ tsp. nutmeg
• 2 C heavy cream
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
Booze: my mix is, and you can adjust “flavors” to your liking:
• ½ C brandy
• 2 C bourbon
• ½ C cognac
• ½ C light rum
• ½ C Cointreau (or Curacao, Grand Marnier, or triple-sec)
Prep - Make a double-boiler:
Get a stainless steel bowl that sits in a pot, covering the whole pot, yet leaves about an inch or two of space between the bottom of the bowl and the pot. Put water in the pot but not so much that it touches the bowl when placed in it. Bring the pot to a simmer (without the bowl on it). Later, we will want the stream to surround the bowl but we don’t want boiling water touching the bottom of the bowl.
Separate the egg yolks from the egg whites. The whites need to be in a super-clean bowl. The egg whites are going to be whipped separately, so you don’t want any trace of fat (yolk) in them. Place the yolks in one stainless steel bowl, and the whites in another.
Add the sugar to the yolks and beat furiously with the whisk until they lighten in color, become a little thicken, and look ribbony. Next, place this bowl over your pot of simmering water (near boil is ok/preferred). Hold the bowl’s edge with a potholder and whisk constantly. You want to cook the yolk/sugar mixture but you don’t want to cook it to the point of making an omelet. As it cooks (whisk constantly!) it will thicken. You’re done when it’s both thickened and really warm/hot. (If you see a piece of scrambled egg, immediately empty the bowl through a china cap, or sieve (colander), into another clean bowl; use a spatula)
Whisk in the milk, cinnamon, and nutmeg, and then put this bowl, uncovered, in the refrigerator to cool completely.
Mix up your liquor in a bowl.Use more or less to your liking.
With a mixer, standing or handheld, whip the heavy cream until it looks like “whipped cream”. If you need the same bowl to whip the egg whites, put the whipped cream in another bowl. Set aside.
Whip the egg whites to “soft peaks”. They should look shiny and if you dipped a spoon into them and then held the spoon up they shouldn’t run down, but the “peaks” will fold over. If they look “dry” or the peaks stand up straight, you’ve gone too far - use a spatula to beat them down and deflate them a little.
Take your cold egg yolk/milk mixture, stir in the booze.
Using a spatula, “fold” in the egg whites and whipped cream. You want these to be incorporated but you don’t want to whisk them to totally deflate them.
Ready to enjoy.
If it sits it may separate a little. This is not the end of the world, just whisk it back into shape.
